What causes a husband to be abusive in marriage?
According to recent data, abusive behavior in marriage is common. The abuse can stem from various reasons, including mental issues, substance abuse, power and control dynamics, and past trauma. Abuse leads to many divorces.
Here's a question we received and wanted to answer:
Question:
My husband gets very abusive when he drinks, and he’s been drinking a lot lately because he’s under heavy stress at work, I think. His boss, who he knew in college from Georgia Tech, says he’s not “hitting his number” for his sales quota, and my husband thinks he could get fired.
Anyway, when he gets drunk, my husband says I spend too much money and that I’m fat and lazy. I don’t think I spend too much money, but I do like nice clothes, and I go to the Avalon a few times a week to shop.
I’m not fat, but I admit I have put on a couple of extra pounds – I do like chocolate! As for laziness, well I don’t work, I haven’t since I had kids, but I do stuff around the house, and I’ll sometimes even cook, or at least do a microwave meal.
I think I need a divorce lawyer soon and I’d like you to call me when you can. I also want to know how I can stop him from being violent because I think he’s on the verge of hitting me. Why is my husband abusive?
Gwen in Alpharetta, GA
Answer:
Thank you for your question, Gwen. We will call you within one day.
Here are some factors that might contribute to violent behavior in some individuals, like your husband:
- Communication Issues: Poor communication skills can lead to misunderstandings and frustration, escalating into violence in some cases.
- Unresolved Conflicts: If conflicts aren't addressed and resolved, they can build up and contribute to a tense environment that may lead to violent outbursts.
- Power and Control Dynamics: Violence can be a way for someone to exert power and control over their partner, often resulting from unhealthy relationship dynamics.
- Substance Abuse: Misuse of drugs or alcohol can impair judgment and contribute to aggressive behavior.
- Mental Health Issues: Individuals dealing with mental health issues, such as anger management problems or personality disorders, may be more prone to violent behavior.
- Past Trauma: Personal experiences of trauma, whether from childhood or other life events, can contribute to violent tendencies.
- Cultural or Societal Factors: Societal norms or cultural expectations may play a role in shaping attitudes towards relationships and potentially contribute to violence.
Abuse and violence in relationships is, unfortunately, common. It’s a frequent cause of divorce. The abuse could be verbal, emotional, or physical.
It's crucial to seek help if you or someone you know is experiencing violence in a relationship. Professional support from therapists, counselors, or domestic violence hotlines can provide guidance on how to address and prevent further harm. If you are in immediate danger, please contact local law enforcement or a domestic violence hotline.
Getting violent with someone is a crime under Georgia law, so your husband, should he attack you, is at risk of criminal prosecution.
As local family lawyers we have a lot of experience with abuse of all kinds of abuse and we will help you get through this difficult time!