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Divorce: My Husband Is a Sperm Donor

Question: I just found out that my husband has been a sperm donor. He gets paid to donate his sperm at sperm banks. He didn't tell me he was doing that but I found out because he bought a new car and he told me where he got the extra money.

I think I need to divorce him. I'm not totally sure what sperm donation is and how the whole process works, but it sounds like he's seeing other women. In many ways it's like he's seeing a gigantic amount of ladies. When I told my friends and my mother most of them didn't consider it was cheating, but one of my friend's said it sounded to her like he was having multiple affairs.

I need to know if under Georgia law it is considered cheating on your spouse if you become a sperm donor. It just feels like he's having affairs. Maybe I would think differently if he discussed it with me before he did it.

He doesn't think it's a big deal. He said he wants a vanity tag on the new car that reads “DONOR.” I just don't think that's funny! Is he committing adultery?

L.R. in Roswell, Georgia

Answer: If he's being compensated by a sperm bank, then it does not appear that he is having sexual relations with other women. If he is not having sex with other women, then he is not committing adultery. (Some might characterize his actions as financial infidelity.)

Sperm donation is a way in which a male donor can help a couple or single person have a child. There is usually a health screening process to become a donor and the donor is usually compensated. (Donors often fill-out lengthy questionnaires about family history, education, etc.)

Traditionally, the donor may be helping heterosexual couples who can't conceive naturally, lesbian couples or single women.

Georgia has a number of sperm banks. Before utilizing the services of a sperm bank, always research them to ensure that you are dealing with a legitimate enterprise. Instead of using a sperm bank, some couples and singles seek out a surrogate arrangement.

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