Question: My wife wanted us to try marriage counseling because we have not been getting along for the past few years. We went to a marriage counselor in Atlanta and we did many couples' sessions, meaning we were both at the therapist and talking about our marriage.
But the therapy sessions didn't work. Actually they may have made things worse. I've heard that counseling can really help a marriage. I have friends who say therapy kept their marriage together. But it didn't help my situation at all.
Now we're headed for divorce. My wife said that she's speaking to divorce attorneys and wants to get divorced as soon as possible. I think she met someone at work and now wants to move in with him.
We've been married for over 25 years and most of the marriage was pretty good. Then she started to criticize my drinking and betting on football. She said I was wasting all of our money.
Now my wife is saying that even the marriage counselor thought I was a bad guy. She said the marriage counselor called me a “jerk,” a “moron” and a “weenie.” I just don't believe that our counselor said those words.
My wife even said that the therapist might testify against me if we go to court. She said the counselor will tell the judge that I'm a “psycho.” I need to know if the counselor will testify against me because I was very open and honest and I said some things that could get me into trouble and make me look bad.
C.A. in Dunwoody, Georgia
Answer: Your wife can testify about what was said in the marriage counseling sessions, and you can as well. But it is unlikely that the therapist will testify about what was said in the sessions, especially in the context of a divorce proceeding. Your therapist will likely deem what was said as privileged and confidential.
We have heard mixed reviews of marriage counseling. Many times it works and improves a marriage. Other times, however, it has no affect or can strain the relationship even more.
Here are 5 reasons when people should consider seeing a marriage counselor:
- When divorce seems inevitable
- When negative feelings are being acted out
- When both or one partner is considering having an affair
- When you are only together for the sake of the children
- When the fighting never seems to end
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